terça-feira

Que cagada!


Essa história aconteceu há muitos e muitos anos atrás...
Minha vó mora em outra cidade e tinha vindo visitar a gente aqui não me lembro bem o porque.
Sei que eu tinha uns 5, 6 anos e um medo danado de cachorro.
Minha vó veio com a recém comprada cachorrinha dela. Uma podle micro toy (faço a mínima idéia de como escreve isso) branquinha, com 20cm de comprimento, uma gracinha. (como podia ter medo de um bichinho tao lindo!)

Sei que com o tempo eu perdi o medo da Flô (sim, é FLÔ - alemão, significa pulga!) e comecei a brincar com ela.
Lembro que um dia eu tava toda arrumada para ir para o colégio depois do almoço, de uniforme, cheirosinha e tava esperando meu pai me levar. Enquanto isso eu tava brincando com a cachorra. Eu tinha achado uma bolinha de ping-pong e tava jogando a bolinha pra ela e tal.
Sei que numa hora lá, eu peguei a bolinha de ping-pong e com a mesma mão que estava a bolinha eu peguei a Flô.
E dai né?
E daí que a bolinha parou estrategicamente no intestino dela e quando eu tirei a cachorra do chão a bolinha fez pressão e a cachorra começou a cagar em mim. Eu assustei com aquilo e simplesmente larguei a cachorra no chão, na altura em que eu estava. (ela era filhote, tinha 2, 3 meses). Com a queda a cachorra desmaiou e eu comecei a chorar porque tava toda cagada.
a parede que tinha perto também ficou cagada.
Agora realiza: Minha mãe desesperada porque eu tinha feito a maior lambança na parede e em mim, eu chorando desesperada; Minha vó vendo a cachorra desmaiada e cagada no chão; A empregada vendo aquele tanto de merda que ela ia ter que limpar; Meu pai preocupado com a hora de ir trabalhar. O que rolou? CAOS!
Foram os 30 minutos mais estressantes da minha vida.
Minha vó gritava: VOCE MATOU MINHA CACHORRINHAAAAAA!
Minha mãe gritava: O QUE VOCÊ FOI FAZER? VIU QUE DROGA VC FEZ?
Meu pai gritava: PRECISO IR TRABALHAR, RESOLVE LOGO ISSO, MULHER!
A empregada gritava: NUM SOU PAGA PRA LIMPAR BOSTA DE CACHORRO NÃO!!
E eu gritava: MÃÃÃEEEEE, ELA FEZ COCÔ EM MIM! BUÁÁÁ, BUÁÁÁ!

C-A-O-S-!

Sei que nesse dia nao fui pro colégio, meu pai foi trabalhar, a empregada limpou tudo, minha mae me deu um banho e a cachorra acordou depois de umas horas.
Bom, passaram-se 16 anos e a cachorra nao gosta de mim até hoje, porque será?? hahaha
Tadinha, tem mais ou menos um mês que a Flô morreu. Tava velha já, tadinha.
Agora minha vó comprou outra, igualzinha, cujo nome é LUZ. Vou conhecê-la daqui uma semana, espero que desta vez eu nao saia cagada da história!!

To be continued...

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